spaghetti in the bed

“So I shot this old woman in the face with an arrow and the guards got all ‘we gotta go fight this chick because she’s fucking up some old bitch.’ “

-Mia, her first experience with Skyrim

To cap off a 90’s night of YouTube videos, Mia and I played Biker Mice From Mars on Super Nintendo. Best. Girlfriend. Ever

I love Mia to death but godamn I hate playing this game with her

Its been decided for some time now, but this will be the song played during our first dance at our wedding.

-Chad

(The people of OKCupid are invited too)

Kentucky too.

Me: You smell like another woman.
Chad: No…I don’t…?
Me: Yes you do.
Chad: No. I don’t.
Me: Yes you do!
Chad: No I don’t!!
Me: Oh wait…wait…that’s me.
Chad: -sighs and rolls eyes-
Me: Well I was at least going to say she smelled good.

Not too long ago Mia was over at my house and was listening to music on her laptop while I was playing Call of Duty (because I’m a douchebag) and we got on the topic of what will we name our cat, or child, according to Mia.

She was on a website strictly dedicated to cat names. While normally this would shock me that someone dedicates their time to upkeep a website like this, it is Mia we are talking about so of course she would know this site exists. During my play sessions Mia constantly threw out potential cat names.

“Ughhh!! You aren’t paying attention! You don’t care!”

“I’M SORRY, I’M BUSY TRYING TO SAVE THE WORLD!!”

 Saving the world < naming a cat

(The names currently under consideration are Dr. Martalozo and Louise)

-Chad

We just spent the majority of our day planned around when we would eat a McRib from McDonalds….god help us

-Chad

If you don’t know who Skrillex is, I’m not really in a position to judge you, nor am I allowed to be a complete snob about it. Skrillex, also known as Sonny Moore, a former member of the band From First To Last, is one of the top dubstep artists out right now, and from my experience, not a lot of people are really a fan of that particular genre. Even though it was me who initially turned Chad onto dubstep, it was him who got me into Skrillex.

So a few months ago when he mentioned that the genre-flipper would be in town, he suggested we go, and I was more than excited. The only shows I had ever experienced had been bands consisting of loud, screaming members, with mosh pitting, super pumped up fans. I was interested to see what it would be like to attend a dubstep show.

With this show came :

• Super slutty girls wearing neon bras with superman slutty short skirts and fishnet stockings
• Girls wearing bras and neon coloured tutus
• Shirtless men
• Glowsticks
• Drunkards

As soon as I saw the glowsticks, I immediately thought, “Oh, this is like a rave”. 

And it was. 

A girl I didn’t know chatted it up with me as if we had been BFFs since kindergarten. She took pictures of the two of us, which are probably now on her Facebook which, 

a.) I don’t have
b.) I’ll never see.

She also kept trying to get me to drink some of her alcoholic and who knows what else drink, which I refused time and time again. I was also accosted by a super sweaty, drunk guy, multiple times. People were going crazy, and the best part - not even two feet in front of Chad and I, people were dropping acid. Suddenly we were surrounded by people who were high out of their minds. This was already four hours into the night, and Skrillex wasn’t even on yet. Oh, and did I mention some girl died? It was at the point of watching people do drugs right in front of us where we got really uncomfortable, and left the show. Skrillex played maybe two songs before we were out of there.

So when Chad told me Skrillex was coming back, and he bought tickets as a birthday present for me/us, I was a bit skeptical. I didn’t want to re-live that night…but I really liked Skrillex, and we didn’t even really get to see him last. So I agreed to go, and patiently awaited for the night to arrive.

I must say, it was a wonderful birthday present. This venue had seats, so we didn’t have to stand for hours on end, pretending to be into the opening acts, which were only about two hours long instead of a tiring four. Granted we saw one girl in a tutu, 1/4 the amount of shirtless guys, and a really annoying midget girl in front of us who kept bouncing around, everyone seemed to be pretty normal. There wasn’t any acid, but there still was weed.

I couldn’t have had a more fun time. Chad and I both danced our asses off, and I’m not the type to dance, so you know that I definitely had fun. We ended up staying the entire show, and the best part - no one died…to my knowledge, anyway. 

All in all, it was a great birthday, and I would definitely go see Skrillex again. 

Maybe next time we’ll invite Mr. Ben-Israel. I’m sure if we were to bring back his “clubbing days”, this would be a scene he’d definitely be into. 

- Mia

Chad and I watch a lot of Food Network. If you aren’t aware, there’s a new(ish) show on called, Sweet Genius. If you haven’t heard of it (which I wouldn’t be entirely surprised about), it’s basically about four pastry chefs who compete in challenges, using manadatory ingredients and inspiration to create dishes of ‘genius’. Think of it as Chopped, but only for desserts.

It’s hosted by this supposed world renowned cake artist, Ron Ben-Israel. Personally, I’ve never heard of this guy prior to this show, and even googling him, I can’t really find any information about him. All of the contestants are always so, “He’s so inspiring, I love him so much”, but I’m convinced they’re paid by Food Network to say that. I’m almost 100% positive the network just picked some random, flamboyant guy with a funny accent to criticize people’s food.

Chad wasn’t the least bit interested in watching this when the show first premiered. I at least wanted to see what it was about, since I’m a dessert aficionado myself. After a couple of episodes of weird mandatory ingredients, and off the wall objects of inspiration that we are convinced are just items from Mr. Israel’s home, he became hooked.

—————————

I think Mia is really holding back in the post here. Seriously…this guy is flamboyant as all hell and way over the top. The “inspirations” that Mr. Ben-Israel uses, Mia believes are things that he has around his house and just brings into the studio for the show. Case in point, a bonsai tree was an inspiration for one round. One contestant cut part of the tree off for decoration on his dessert and Israel was PISSED. Other “inspirations” have been disco balls, fabrojae eggs, and mini carousels.

A lot of the fun comes from when the host says a word to describe the dessert he is tasting. But from what I can tell, he just says the first thing that comes into his head, and I don’t think he always knows what the word he uses actually means.

So Mia and I started to come up with our own challenge. For the baked good round, we would like the mandatory ingredients to be cardboard and edible panties. The inspiration should be old gym socks. Make it happen Food Network.